To The 21-Year-Old Me

Wednesday, June 15, 2016


Dear Celine,

I am telling you now: there will be disappointments. There will be heartaches. You will lose sight of who you are. You will lose your Signal Fire. Your sorrow will be so great, it will cripple you and render you useless. Soon, for the first time in your life, you will face your greatest demon. Whatever you think or do or say, you will not be prepared. 

The hard days will make your existence seem tiring. You will grow weary. But you are young, Celine. You must remember that. You will be dealt with your share of pain and loss. You will cry a storm of tears and your soul will never be the same again, but never ever let your dark thoughts win. Do not succumb. Listen to your friends, to those who love you. They will lead you out. Believe me, one way or another, you will endure.

You are allowed mistakes and second-guessing. People might be expecting perfection from you, but you don't have to comply. You set the bar too high, it's true, but the only measure that matters is the one you define. Whatever your heart tells you, follow it. Good days will come. 

Soon, you will look at yourself and see purpose. You will face a hard choice. Have courage. Trust yourself to do what is right and necessary. You will. 

The void in your heart will always be there but all that you broke and is broken will be mended. You will find your core, your anchor. It will come with a price but you will be able to pay it. As a result, you will be more present, no longer caught between a long-gone past and an uncertain future. You will be more here

The changes will surprise those who are closest to you. But you will be the most surprised of them all.

My dear Celine, in time, your bushy hair, your bulbous nose, your thick thighs, flabby arms and all your nameless fears and insecurities – you will find a way to make them work. You will get over yourself and you will be kinder. 

Go with your instinct. I cannot say this enough: follow your heart. Do not let your dreams and passion die. Nourish them. Let them guide your every choice. Do what you have to do.

Everything will work out, I promise. 

With so much love and hope,

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