Of The Letters O and K

Monday, September 01, 2014

Oh, my dears, you have no idea how easy I find it to begin every article, every piece of writing, with the pronoun "I". In fact, I was poised to set-up this very note with a different version of the above sentence; one which begins--surprise, surprise--with "I". But in the midst of watching every keystroke become a letter, which in turn, becomes a word, I've decided to rephrase it with the hope that such resolution would later help strengthen the essence of this note.

I write this without consideration for comprehension. If you find yourself lost and confused while perusing/skimming/scanning this piece, you must accept that I owe you neither an apology nor an explanation. You must be content with what you will get because I won't ask of you no more than what you are willing to give. I've realized that, most times, it's ok not to be understood. I've observed that understanding is too much to ask from people. I think this is one of the reasons the world is in such disarray: we ask too much.

We were told to say things clearly; to mean what we say and say what we mean. This should have come with a disclaimer or a warning of some sort. Perhaps one that reads, "Clarity is difficult; try at your own risk." The world demands that we speak the truth and that we speak it with such precision. The world had clearly forgotten to tell us how. And that's ok. We must forgive the world.

We live with Pressure and Responsibility constantly shadowing us like vultures. Sometimes, it's ok to shrug off Pressure and abandon Responsibility. It's ok to be selfish. I believe that the only way to handle extrinsic pressure is to first learn how to deal with the pressures from within. I believe that responsibilities to others can only be assumed when one acknowledges his responsibilities to himself. I maintain, it's ok to be selfish.

We were told to never give up, to persevere, and to work hard. But it's ok to feel tired and wry. It's ok to rest for a while. It's ok to pretend that we are happy, but it's better to admit that we are not. It's ok to be disappointed with everything and everyone, in general; with yourself, in particular. It's ok to say that you deserve more. It's ok to doubt others. It's even ok to doubt yourself. It's ok to admit that things got out of hand, that you lost control, that it's your fault. It's ok to think that you're overrated, because, more often that not, you really are. It's ok to say that you don't know, that you don't care, that you don't want to. It's ok to start every sentence with the pronoun "I" or "My".

It's ok to fart in public places, to defecate in public toilets. It's ok to snore. It's ok to wheeze and have trouble breathing. It's ok to have crusties in your eyes, boogers in your nose, wax in your ear, or drool in the corner of your mouth. It's ok to sneeze in a meeting or yawn during a class.

It's ok to be paranoid. It's ok to delay progress. It's ok to believe in superstitions, aswang, bangungot, and tawas. It's ok to blame fate and circumstance for all the bad things.

It's ok to be wary of the melting ice caps, the constant shifting of the earth's crust, the growing hole in the ozone layer, and what's-out-there. It's ok to imagine how the world will end. The world may already be ending, for all we know.

It's ok to believe in Dunbar's number. It's ok to have few friends. It's ok to fear that you might have unwittingly scared or pushed people away because you most likely have, at one point.

It's ok to say that you are flawed, because you are--we all are.

I'm afraid that I may have gone too far and have botched what little support I had, as far as this piece goes. I probably have, but it’s ok. There's a voice in the edges of my conciousness that insists I wasn't able to follow the course I have set out before writing this; that I wasn't able to expound on the main idea. I think that it’s a natural occurrence, anyway: to become a discursive and babbling fool even when you try so hard not to. And I find that I have no problem with that. I think it’s ok to be angry, to be a talkshit, or to lie occasionally. I just don’t think it’s ok to say things are ok when you really don’t think they are.

It's ok not to agree because I don't expect you to.

Originally posted on Facebook. 07/29/2012

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