2016: The Year of Falling Apart and Coming Together

Saturday, December 31, 2016

celineism

I started 2016 with a glimmer in my eyes, and hope, and a fire I was so very much willing to feed. I had a feeling – the kind that makes you say, “I just know” – that this was going to be a great year. And, in summary, it truly was. But a great year isn’t a great year without some sprinkling of hardships, and 2016 hadn’t scrimped on the hardships at all.

In 2016, my relationship with the love of my life faltered. We were dancing for 8 years and there was a frightening moment when the music had seemed to stop. But the music hadn’t really stopped, it had only gotten a little softer, so we can improve our dance moves. See, up until that very moment, we hadn’t known that, yes, we were dancing together, but we were dancing to our own beats. And because of that variance in signature, we were bound to step on each other’s foot. It was only a matter of time before we get each other hurt. But the Universe had been kind, and our personal music grew quieter for our sake. In those hushed notes, we found our rhythm, and now our dances are more in time. We still have our own individual songs, but, now, we have both of it memorized. And everything that we’ve been through finally made sense. We held on. We’re here. We have created balance. We have created something beautiful. And it all happened this 2016.

This year, friendships were also made, and renewed. A chain of events had led me to a beautiful soul. Circumstances had brought us together, and her understanding and empathy had helped anchored me throughout this whirlwind of a year. She just knows. She understands how it is to sometimes be a prisoner of your own mind, to be helpless against the darkness that you struggle everyday to fight off. A little understanding could sometimes mean the whole world. And hers had meant everything during a chaotic point this year.

A personal hero had also become a good friend, and this friendship stood as a glaring disproof to the well-known notion of never meeting your heroes, for my familiarity with her had only engendered nothing but admiration and wisdom, (and, okay, maybe a bit of tomfoolery too). Her company, even if only through the written word, and digital conversations, provided solace – a refuge each time my stubborn mind threatened to undo all.

2016 had also given birth to a constant. I have found the quintessential bestfriend; an equal in all things that matter. Her friendship had made me stronger, more courageous, and accepting of myself. This year was the year I finally had the friendship I’ve only read in books – one that is unconditional; one that is true and sincere – the kind that, once you find, you can never do without.

More importantly, this year had also been the year I became more myself – the version I have always envisioned me to be. My sensibilities are more honest. I have accepted my flaws, and now know what to do with them. The choices I make are more out of confidence than insecurity, and I now handle criticisms and disappointments incredibly well.

A lot more good things have happened this year. I went on an all-expense-paid trip to Indonesia. I have regular gigs. The blog is going well. My writing is improving. My career is taking off. My acne has cleared up. I dress better (at least according to my standards). And the Universe kept sending me signs that I’m on the right path.

So much had also crushed my soul and trampled on my enthusiasm, but all these only provided the canvas for a grander masterpiece. I am a tower of  blocks, with some pieces misaligned and askew. This 2016, a lot of these blocks were put into its proper place, and I now go through life a little less wobbly.

In a few hours, there will be the turning of another page. Another year has passed and gone. Another set of 365 days had been used up. I’m sure, there is yearning, and anxiety more than anything, but despite (and, perhaps, because of) the many loss, tragedies, and heartaches of 2016, there is much, much, more to be grateful for.

Let us make 2017 a year of pursuing passions, and following greater loves. Good things are coming, my fellow adventures, and, like I always say, the best is yet to come.

This is my entry to the December 2016 PTB Blog Carnival "2016: A Year Ender" hosted by Mervin Marasigan of PinoyAdventurista.

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